Somewhere in the last year, in an effort to streamline my writing and the focus of my business, I have found myself writing specific things. One weekly word, one fun newsletter, and some decorating, painting, or life pursuits sprinkled in.
While in this season of my life, that feels good most of the time, I do find myself missing the days of just sitting down at the computer, sharing whatever was happening that day. I miss the spontaneity of it, the journaling nature of it. I think it’s time to pick that back up again.
Even though I cannot go into extreme detail, I can tell you this year for us has been brutal. And really, the two before. There has been so much pain in my children’s lives, and in turn, ours. I hate being vague, but it is not the time to share the details of what is happening in our world. It has caused me to make a choice: keep work & life the same OR slow down all the extra. I chose the latter.
I have been chasing slow since January.
It wasn’t in my plans. I had big goals this year for my art, for my writing, and all the things. But the truth is I’ve learned to listen to that voice inside of me that calls (I refer to it as little me or Spirit). She all but yelled: slow down and be available to your family.
And so I have. I have felt more like a stay-at-home mom this year since I was one right after the kids were born. I have spent days making food, swimming, shuttling to their doctor’s appointments, helping with school projects, praying they make it through the stress to finish up school (we did it!), and so many more everyday tasks. It has made me joyful and a little antsy…but mostly, it has provided margin.
I’ve written some, and painted even less and while I miss that part of me, I am a whole person. And this whole person has needed to actively engage in love with her family. These kids have needed me, needed us, and thankfully, I was in a position to step away a little to give that to them.
I see the light at the end flickering, calling me to open up the journal a little more, and pulling me to my paints in the studio. But I will approach it all patiently. After all, what can we do in our lives any more impactful than love our people, all the way, just how they need?
Here’s to living in balance, chasing slow, pool days, less talking and more listening. Here’s to the warm light of summer evenings, pool splashes, more books and less screens. Here is to cultivating a life that suits you, in this moment, as you take note of the treasure in your world. Here’s to being called to love fiercely, to drink in one more conversation, and to open yourself up to all that you are and all you long to be in this life. Here is to being brave enough to choose the life you love.