I posted this two years ago, but it seemed to me the timing was right to share it again, in a new way. I’ve learned to trust those little nudges. 😊
I was walking on the beach, the sun on my face and salt in the air. To my right there were two women talking. One younger, wearing shorts and a tank top and the other, older, wrapped in a sweatsuit and wearing sunglasses the size of saucers.
I happened to overhear a snippet of their conversation. Sighing, the young girl said to the older woman, “It’s like when we get back home from this trip, my whole life begins.” I looked over, just barely, and my mouth turned into a slight smile.
I also immediately wrote it down. I’ve grown quite fond of being an observer of humans.
I walked on, back to my chair, and when I sat down, her words hung in the air. I wanted to turn to her. To tell her. I’ve been where you are. I’ve stood at precipices in my life, waiting. Waiting for that one thing to be done. That one thing to happen at work. That one day.
It is almost as if we imagine ourselves standing on the giant conveyer belt of life, waiting for the end, for the destination, or at the very least, a break in the automation. Life, in my experience, is more like a roller coaster rather than the conveyer belt. The ups and downs and twists and plunges, all pushing and pulling us in different directions. There are moments at the crest and there are moments in the valley.
I wanted to tell her. Your life has already begun. There is no conveyer belt. There is no perfect break or pause or starting point. It is happening, all around you. In moments and hours and days and years. In quiet corners and loud rooms. Don’t wait. Not for anything. You might wake up at 34 and have a lot of realizations hit you all at once.
And it struck me, how alike we all are. How we search for the same things, and are muddling through the waiting periods. We are muddling through the coaster ride convinced we are on the belt. How so much of life is connecting the dots to big moments, big destinations…one small second at a time. Someone told me this week that I live in the future. All the time. Because the future is blissful and perfect and there are no limits there.
I don’t like limits. I am not that patient.
Some things are worth the waiting. Worth the confetti and the celebration and the hype. The crest is absolutely worth it, but it is not all there is. I don’t want to wait for everything. I want to live in the small dots, the corners.
In the waiting, I want to feel peace. Find faith. Be free. I think we all do. The connections will all make sense eventually.
And another big day will come.