Psst…if you missed part 1, you might want to head here first.
A couple of months ago, while in the midst of writing my book, and feeling about as thin as butter scraped against burnt toast, I was just low. I found myself thinking on my workout schedule, about how guilty I felt for drinking so much coffee, and was having a good pity party for my body/self in general.
Then I walked in the girl’s room…
And I read her sign (thank you sweet Tiffini) for the millionth time, but this time…I recognized myself.
Now, I’ll digress for a second. If you know me well at all, you know two things: I seem pretty confident because for the most part I do feel self assured; I know from Where my worth comes (except when it comes to my body), and two, I recognize my ignorant plight and also love to learn, challenge myself, and man, do I ever want to grow in Faith so my little ones can along side me…I yearn for change.
So when I say I “saw myself” I don’t mean that I had this revolutionary moment of self-praise, no, I simply saw what my God sees in me. He sees a working from home mom, a woman who loves her husband and family fiercely and protects what they share. A woman who loves her work and her employees, and her readers, and a woman who wants to love Him more. Even a woman who tries to be healthy and take care of herself and a woman who would like to do more of that. That’s not what I see.
But that’s what He sees. And He desperately loves that about me.
I sat on Ava’s bed, and for the first time ever, really, I sat in the knowledge that while my body isn’t what it “used to be” or my body doesn’t respond like “so-and-so,” I am everything I am, and I do mean everything, because of Him.
Does that mean I’m done? That I don’t want to lose this 35-40 pounds? Nope. I’ve got extra work to do. But it’s just extra. It’s not the good stuff. The good stuff can’t be measured or weighed or pinched.
You see friends, real transformation doesn’t begin with the body. Real transformation doesn’t even begin by realizing you are beautiful.
Real, lasting transformation begins by realizing you were Made beautiful.
At least it did for me.
As I thought on it all the next few weeks, even before changing more of my diet and getting serious about my commitment to my workouts, I really and truly began feeling different about myself. I started seeing that while I was worth the time and effort it was going to take to change some habits and to make my workouts every single week, I also recognized how healthy I already was. I began to see myself through a different set of eyes, and they were much less critical.
She is clothed in strength and dignity…
P.S. I am already down 6 pounds, 2% body fat, and a several inches…just from the last few weeks. Happy to share more (I have at least one more post coming) for those that want to know, but for today, I hope you’ll look in the mirror and remember that you were Made in His image, with His hands, and your beauty? It’s everlasting.