I think I’ve been avoiding this post for a while.
I’m not sure why. You guys know quite a bit about me, and I’ve shared so much of my life here with you. The truth is, I’ve been quite uninspired the last 6 months. Maybe longer.
To create, to paint, to tell a story.
Life became real and challenging, and somewhere in my mind, I just assumed it would go away. That I’d just push through it. And while life could be harder and certainly circumstances could be worse, the year has been grey and even dark sometimes. There has been real struggle.
I went through a bit of a blogging hiatus, and while I missed connecting with you so very much, there was also the HGTV pilot to be filmed and the house to be worked on. There was life and family and a new store. There was difficulty.
And then we began blogging again.
Beginning the process from scratch felt almost painful, and getting back into our groove has been tough. I read my friend, Marian’s, post the other day and it really resonated with me. Maybe part of the reason I’ve been beating my head against the wall is I’ve been trying to tell the same story.
But life is different for me than when I first began blogging. I was painting furniture in my garage with two babies on my hip, and we were renovating our attic. We changed our entire home in a matter of a couple years, some spaces twice.
Since then, I’ve opened two stores, an online store, wrote a book, and filmed an HGTV pilot. All due to your support and this blog, really. But life looks different. What my days are filled with is new. Some of it is harder, some is easier, but it is most certainly not boring.
So while I miss the makeovers in our home, right now our home is more for living life, for creating for the stores and our look books. I don’t ever want my blog to disappear, but it does have to shift and form around the life I’m living. I miss sharing so much of it here because I’m trying to fit into the old format. An old story.
But it’s time to keep growing. To keep changing.
The makeovers will still be here, but there will be less, and they’ll probably be for our stores or Chapel Market. Our house will still be worked on, but we’ll probably share more clients’ space transformations. I’d love to write more about our stores, since so much of my days are spent there…and I do love what I do. I love business, and I love connecting with those who do as well.
Being real here has been important for me from the beginning, but sometimes it is harder to be raw, exposed and vulnerable. It can wear on your heart, and some things are meant only for you and God himself to deal with. But I do want you to know I struggle. We struggle. Life is not all stores and blogs and paint and books and TV pilots.
Life is hard. I am imperfect, ugly even. My heart is wretched and selfish and so unlike Christ. It’s easy to say that when you aren’t in the pit, but when you are, that’s a tough pill to swallow. And certainly to say out loud.
I do know this, however. The grace that caught me so long ago is still there, even when I can’t feel it, even when I do not know which direction is up. Peace is there, amidst the turmoil in my soul, and this blog is a place for the broken, imperfect people.
We aren’t shiny here, we are not polished. We are not phony. We are more than the surface. We all are. Life is grey. It’s not black and it is not white.
It is truly the mix of it all. The paint can at the back of the mis-tint aisle.
No one has all the answers…there is comfort in this. And I thought, just maybe, some of you might have felt the same this year. Maybe you were muddling through as well. Maybe someone needed to say it out loud.
You know I love your stories. I love the real. I love what we’ve built here. Share them with each other, if you want, in the comment section. Know I’m here right in the midst of the mis-tints. In the middle of the broken.
Right beside you.