When I began the journey of writing this blog, I had no idea that it would become a full-time business. I had no idea I would have to think about how to balance family and work. I haven’t figured it all out, but I’m learning.
These last 2 years have brought me some incredible mountaintop moments, but they would be nothing without my family. After writing about parenting a couple of weeks ago, I was inspired to give some tips for working-at-home moms. There’s a lot of parenting advice out there, but not very much for those of us who work from home–and while I don’t pretend to have it all figured out, I know it will help for us all to bounce ideas off of each other.
1. Your work is not your life. It’s part of your life.
2. Be present. If your kids are in school, be with them when they’re home. Homeschooling mom? Take a little time for yourself…but have time when you’re really with them, not always instructing them. They crave down-time with us. Time when it’s just fun & silly.
3. Let go of the idea that you can do it all. This should’ve been number one. You can’t clean the house (plus all the noses), do all the laundry, run the errands, pay attention to your husband, answer 100 emails per week, plan & prepare dinner every night, print pics out for the nana, grow your business…all by yourself. Get over being perfect. Hire a virtual assistant if you can. Ask your husband for help with a couple of things around the house. Hire someone to help clean it, for that matter. Feel OK about these things–they keep you focusing on your family.
4. Find a work/school/play schedule that works for you. Don’t feel pressure to set hours if that doesn’t work for your family. If you find yourself feeling torn more times that not, you may want to revisit this. Setting (loose) hours for myself helped me walk away from the computer, turn off the phone, and ignore the nagging, “I need to finish…” each afternoon. Sure, the occasional project or call comes up, but mostly, by 2 p.m. I’m off blog-duty for the night.
5. If the kids are in school, shut the computer/turn the phone off from the minute you pick them up to the minute you tuck them in. You will feel balance & less torn, and they will feel your undivided attention when you’re with them.
6. Stick to your guns. Just because you have a lot to manage doesn’t mean the kiddos should run wild. Stay consistent in your disciplining. Insist on respect, and as hard as it can be, embrace the task given to you: train them to be men and women of character. You’ll be glad and they will thank you for it one day.
7. Sprinkle life lessons & Scripture throughout their mornings and afternoons. I’m convinced this is one of the hardest to balance as a working-at-home mom. Back when I was homeschooling, there were so many teaching moments, and I found I had to work a little less to see teaching moments. Homeschooling was harder for many other reasons, but it seemed that I was able to find multiple moments each day to remind Gray of Truth & of how to be a kind, serving, strong young man. Now that my hours are more limited with him, I find that I have to purposefully (and conversationally) teach him lots of lessons in a shorter amount of time.
8. Have a pizza night, or a taco night, or a grilled cheese night. Or pick 2 or 3 meal nights, for that matter. We don’t always stick to this, but when we do, it’s amazing how simplified our mealtimes become. A few nights a week need to be mindless in the kitchen.
9. Since you do have control of your schedule, be involved in your child’s educational experience. Notice I didn’t simply say “education.” For some of us, this might mean homeschooling. For others, it means something entirely different. If your kids are in traditional school, get involved with their whole experience at school. Ask them questions about their day, their favorite parts, the parts that stunk. What did they learn–what did they looove to learn about? How are their friends, what’s going on with them? It’s not about being nosy or controlling, it’s about quiet guidance and purposeful moments.
10. Set a date night. Every week. Every other at the least. (P.S. This totally applies to all married folk.) Between being a mom, chauffeur, housekeeper, diaper changer, meal planner, etc. and running your own business (all by your lonesome), there is little time for your love life. Make the time–no excuses. Your husband will worship you for it–and you’ll be so thankful he does. There’s really nothing better on this earth than to find your partner, the one who finishes your sentences. Treasure that relationship.
11. Grasp that it’s more about attitude than activity. Yes, it’s fun to do fun things with your fam. But, in the day-to-day, it’s about giggling in the car, pointing out the wildflowers, tickling them on a whim, and saying I love you’s more times than you can count.
12. Try to get the house kinda sorta neat just once a week. This will last you a couple of days. Pick up toys and do dishes most nights. When you fail at this, brush it off and start over. Try again the next day and recognize that’s all it’ll be–neat and perfect one moment & a wreck the next. Kind of like life.
13. Weekends are for family. Okay, if there’s a project you can work on together (especially if you have older kids), then go for it. But if you’ll spend the whole time frustrated that the kids are about to shoot you with the nail gun (like I would), then forget about it and hang with them. Or–do what you all can and then move on to their choice.
14. Speaking of weekends, I know there’s a million birthday parties, church functions, friends to hang with, etc. Pick one or two (at the most) outings & give your family time to recover from the week & for the week ahead. I know this is a hard one, but stick to it. You all need that downtime together–give it a whirl a couple of weekends and see how it feels.
15. Take time at night & talk with them. Just listen to them rattle on about frogs & dolls & transformers, their favorite book. Listen without critiquing or instructing (if you can help it, lol). This will be such a precious and special time for you. You’ll learn SO much about who they are and they’ll adore you for it.
16. Have date nights, or lunches, with each child. Take them to eat, to a movie, on a walk. Do this at least once a month–maybe once a week. The one on one time is totally worth it. My husband always takes Gray to Waffle House…and Grayson LOVES it. So, see, it doesn’t have to be fancy or take much planning.
17. Read to them. Teach them to dance. Encourage them to play a sport or pick up an instrument. Help them identify & develop their passions from a very early age. Be their biggest cheerleader, even while you’re running the biz from the kitchen table.
18. Even though you’re working from home, and probably in your pj’s (I am right now) most days, get dressed for your family. For yourself. It’ll make you feel more productive, more normal. I know–I don’t know why? But, it totally will.
19. Pack lunches and backpacks the night before. Enough said.
20. Keep the kids on a decent sleep schedule. Try to put them in bed around the same time each night–and help them learn to stay there. This time will be life-saving some days. Hang with your husband, read a book, watch a movie. Recharge. Kids crave the structure (and respond really well to it) & so do you (even if you don’t realize it).
21. Let them cuddle with you ANY time they want. Never turn them away when they want to hang in your lap–this comes to an end all too suddenly, I’m sure.
22. Limit the number of times you say, “in just a minute.” They truly do notice.
23. When you can, hire someone to help you with the admin side of business, so you can focus on being a wife & mom & income-generating activities.
24. Since you’ll be juggling a lot, Learn how to ask them to wait a moment without sounding frustrated. They need to learn to respect your time & conversations, but not feel bad for asking for your attention.
25. Remember your end-goal. When you’re 82, what will you look back and treasure? Long for? My bet is you’ll not think about how you wished you had written one more post, or expanded your company in that one way. We’ll look back & either love the time we had with our families or wish we would have taken more. It’s so easy to become swept up in life’s to do’s…live in the moment so you can look back and remember them all.
And my bet is you’ll be so thankful you did.
Thank you for this post. I’m a full time working mama, with a son and daughter under the age of 2. I’ve always made a good living and been hard working…but now with my little ones I’m finding my priorities have shifted quite a lot. I’m considering leaving my job for something part-time with my husband’s family business, where I’ll get to work from home. This is a very hard decision for me to make. Reading your hints is helping me realize I should be able to balance the work with the family time I’ll have while at home. Thank you again. Love your blog.
What a great post, Shaunna! I appreciate all you had to say. You clearly have your priorities straight! My blog is just a hobby, but it’s hard to not let it take over at times! Thanks for sharing!
We do what doctors call “time in” which is touch, the stroke of a cheek or a hug but no talking. As parents we talk to much, I know I do. Also every night we have High/Low time. Sometimes the four kids have multiple highs or one and vice versa. Great way to learn more about the details of the day! You sound right on the money!
What an AMAZING post. My kids are older than yours, but I still struggle with the juggle. Thanks for sharing. The whole “attitude is more important than activity” has been quite a learning curve for me.
Your tips came in the nick of time for us (well, me). It’s so good to have a “friend” out there in the world that totally gets it and helps put it into words for us. Thank you….will refer to this post often!!!!
~Kim
that was great 🙂
Great post… first time visitor and came by through The Real Housewives of Bucks County. I love the picture of your family (or 3 of you and legs in the air) on the ground, where I’m assuming the little girl rolled off daddy’s back. Adorable! I’m a mom of 2, nanny 3 days a week (long days), waitress & building a direct sales team with the hopes of being able to stay at home by the end of this year & do Thirty One only!. I’ll def bookmark and re-visit this post often. Thank you!
These are great tips!
When I started working from home instead of going to an office daily I thought I would have a lot more family time. Instead though I found that it can be hard to stop working when you can just turn on the computer at any time. I finally had to start setting hours for myself and remember to do many of the things you mentioned here.
Couldn’t agree more!! God first, then spouse, then children, THEN everything else! I don’t have a blog, or run my own business, but I do work as a nurse, one 12-hr shift per week. I’m home every other day of the week. It’s easy to get frustrated and lose patience when you’re with your kids, what feels like 24-7… However, we (those at-times frustrated mommies) chose to be a parent, and it is our responsibility to do what God has called us to do… –Train up a child in the way he should go…” Prov 22:6 — Thanks for reminding us what is most important in life and helping us to remember to focus on the eternal things 🙂 Be blessed!
Thank you for this…I struggle with it a lot. Just have to remember what is the most important thing – the family and your little child/children. xo
Shaunna,
What a great heart felt and touching post. Great advice. I can see why you are so successful — you are very mindful in what you do and you don’t lose touch with what is really important to you. Thanks for the reminder and the special tips for managing it all . BTW, I can’t wait to get to the ‘hire some one” stage!
I could say alot about each and every point…but I will just say it in a few words: I agree totally 🙂
As a wife of 35 years, mom of two grown sons, both now married and one with a little girl, ALL these things are SO important. Good work Shauna!
P.S. When I was a young mom, there was no such thing as blogging…Heck, no one had a computer at home! Older? Yes,I am..but only in years 😉
What a beautifully written blog post! I really enjoyed it. My four kids are all teens now and I have to say that the time they want to cuddle will definitely end so treasure it. I’m lucky if I can get us all in the same room at the same time. Missi
This is by far the very best post I have ever read in blogland. You are a very wise woman.
What a beautiful post! Thank you for taking the time to write this. I am a stay-at-home mom, but so much of this rings true for ANY mom/parent. Living in the now is so often difficult, but remembering how short and fleeting life can be really helps put things in perspective. Darling children by the way:)
Fabulous. 🙂 I’m juggling lots of things like every mom is and needed that little bit of encouragement. I just went through the post again to try to tell you which was my favorite point, but I can’t figure out a favorite. I can tell you, however, on what I feel most convicted- being present. So many things are begging for my time and attention, but I need to keep in mind that the most important are my husband and my kids. So thanks for speakin’ some truth and know God is working through it! 🙂
I know I’m a little sappy, but you often bring tears to my eyes…like today! SO TRUE….my “baby” is 11 and it seems as if I brought her home from the hospital yesterday. Thanks for sharing. Lori
What an inspirational post for any Mom and ironically so needed for me today!
The reminder of what the priority is and to turn off your phone and computer when your kids walk in the door is golden! You don’t realize how much of an impact that has on them!
Thx for sharing your insight, and the awesome pics of your family! You are a blessing!
Great post, Shaunna. I know that sounds lame but it’s true. 🙂 Hugs friend.
xo,
Shannon
Great post Shaunna….life is looooong and every day is a new opportunity to make changes and improve. Forming good habits now will help when those cute little ones become yelling teenagers! LOL
Blessings, Lorraine
Wow! This post came at the perfect time for me. I was just saying all day yesterday that I need to take control of my business and create work hours, etc. I feel so blessed to have been able to leave my job working outside the home and have my own work from home business, but I am so busy that it has taken over my life and I find myself working from the moment I wake up to the moment I got to sleep. Thanks for this reminder of all of the things I have been doing wrong! I am going to make immediate changes. 🙂
Great tips! I find myself having a hard time balancing it all sometimes. (AKA Most of the time.) I end up feeling guilty.. This is a great reminder that family must always come first. Everything else can and will wait. Nothing is more precious to me than my boys, and they are what matters most.
P.S. That pic of daddy kissing baby girl totally brought tears to my eyes! Beautiful photos – all of them.
-Erin Spain
DIY On the Cheap
I need that. Every 25 of that. Thanks so much!!
we homeschool and it is so easy to forget to sit back and enjoy them.
our schedule can be so crazy trying to get it all done with a clean house and cooked meals and gym time and date nights…..
i needed a couple of these reminders today.
This is such a great post. I’m a stay at home mom with a couple of part-time, at home jobs (writing for a local newspaper, Creative Memories, etc.) and I have trouble being “present” all day with my kids.
Great post and some good reminders 🙂 Love all your family pictures. This post especially reminded me to get some professional photo’s taken!! Happy weekend 🙂
Great post. I don’t think it can be said any better. Love the family photos!
Always nice to see a young who gets it,
As my 16 yr old daughter did in her “Message”.
My mantra that I pass on to all moms:
“Treasure your children every day because
they deserve it.”
OliviaLives.com
What a fantastic post.
I am a huge admirer of your work and enjoy reading your blog above most yet this post was head-and-shoulders above the rest. Thank you.
Just outstanding.
LOVE this post!! My husband and I were just discussing this topic earlier this week as a matter of fact!! I feel like I am being pulled in a million different directions….trying to do it all & do it all perfectly!! It will drive a person INSANE, ya know?! I’ve been blogging for about a year & a half now & I still haven’t figured out how to balance it all! I have both kids still at home with me which makes blogging during the daytime difficult…but then if I blog at night after they are in bed, then I feel like I am taking time away from my husband!! I do think you have provided some great tips here & some wonderful reminders that I am going to try to incorporate into our routine! Fingers crossed that one day I will figure it all out!! Thanks for a great post Shaunna!
Hey Shaunna!
I just started my blog 2 months ago, and I am already working non-stop on it. Between the blog and the projects (also JUST starting) it is a full time job! I LOVE IT! But totally agree we need to make time for FAMILY. Once I was even cranky because I could not finish a project to post on the blog… CRANKY with my family! So I backed off a bit… and had a laugh. and did the project 2 days later.
Now is 1 in the morning and I was checking blogs and making comments, because I did not have time to do it the last few days… And I read your post! THANK YOU! I am going to bed now! And tomorrow, it is family day!
I have just started my new blog, Meaningful Nest, last week. Your post couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. I need guidance, and your writing and pictures melted my heart and tugged at the strings on it. I love your advice. I am struggling with doing it all right, and how my children see me, and how what I am doing and what I say to them (the “in a minute” one resonated with me) does stick with them and form their view of me and impacts them significantly. I teach full time as a special education teacher and have started my new blog to do something just for me. BUT I will need help balancing it all, and I will come back to what you said again and again. I have added you to my list of “Meaningful Blogs”. Thank you for your inspiration!!!
Thank you for sharing. It’s hard to manage it all but that’s OK. It’s especially nice to know that there are other mommy’s out there going through the same thing!
What a great post for ALL Moms-working at home or not. This list hits on so many points that get forgotten in our busy lives. Think about what you will want to remember 40 years from now. It most likely will NOT be how clean your house was or how successful your business was. Thanks for a great post.
Every single one of these is great for ANY mom, not just work at home moms….that balance of time to interests, goals, habits (good or bad), etc. has to be managed intently with our kiddos no matter your employment and where. Thank you for posting this!!!!!
Thanks for sharing this! I’m not a mommy yet but am hoping to be someday & these are great reminders!
Wow! What a great piece with a tremendous amount of good advice and real substance. You have given me so good things to think about in organizing and managing my own family and life. Thanks for the inspiration!
This post is so Rock Star!
What a wonderful post! These are ALL areas I need improvement in! Thank you!
After I started my own organizing and design business (plus the blog) I had a huge learning curve on how to balance work and family–I’m always tweaking what I do. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and tips. Just when you think you have it figured out, life happens. Getting encouragement and support from others is a blessing. Support is crucial for success.
http://gosimplysavvy.com/blog
Shaunna,
A well written post with one mistake. You should delete the words “for the working at home” from the title. This is valuable advice for ALL mothers! : )
Deborah
haha, thanks so much, Deborah! It feels like it’s so hard to balance work/home, but you’re completely right. It’s tough for us all to balance LIFE and home. Thanks for reading!!
🙂
shaunna
GORGEOUS and well said. Thank you for sharing! I think all moms can take some tips from this beautiful post!!!
Amanda
Very nice post – totally agree. I saw something on Pinterest recently that said if you don’t listen to your child telling you little stuff now, they won’t bother telling you the big stuff when they’re older – because it’s ALL big stuff to them. And as the mother of a child with a speech delay, every word is precious and I hang on every one of them.
Great post!!! I definitely need that reminder every day. I’m home with my 9m old and almost 3yr old (who doesn’t nap) so I feel like I am constantly pulling the “just 1 minute” routine to get anything accomplished…especially if I need to sit in front of the computer. I started furniture refinishing and consequently my blog to help provide for my family but your post reminds me that what’s more important is to be with my family and there for them. Thanks!
This is a wonderful post Shaunna!!!! And you and your family are gorgeous!
Thanks…touched my heart on a day when I truly needed it.
Thanks for this post! I really loved reading it and it’s just what I needed to read today 🙂
Thank you for all this brilliant ideas!
Nina von Ordnungsliebe
Shaunna….you nailed each and everyone perfectly!!! You are doing a fabulous and wonderful job, your kids are lucky to have you and the hubby as their parents to love, teach and grow.
XO
Kristin
hi there 🙂 just found your blog and what a great post! i love this! thanks for sharing all your great tips.
Great post Shaunna!!!! I absolutely adore the pictures as well…your family is absolutely beautiful!!!! You should be sooo proud!!! You are an amazing woman with an amazing family!!!!
Thanks for sharing these great tips!
Good advice for all moms blogging or not!
~Bliss~
I started working from home as an investment advisor in 1987 (the dinosaur days according to my boys when very few people worked from home) and didn’t stop until 4 years ago. What people don’t understand about those who work from home and raise their kids is that we really have 3 jobs: full-time stay-at-home mom, full time homemaker, and full time employee/entrepreneur, etc. It can be crazy stressful but so worthwhile – it’s really the best of both worlds to me. So here is the thing . . . both my boys are in college, the youngest is in his second year, and once they are gone, you will find yourself with more than enough “alone time”. I am so thankful I didn’t worry about a messy house, dirty boys (that just means they had a great day!), imbalanced meals, etc. I know I gave my boys everything I could and now watching the men they have become and remembering all of the amazing times we had are comforting and rewarding. Time passes so quickly – it will shock you. Maybe you’ve heard “The days pass slowly but the years fly by”. So true.
What a great insight you have. I have searched the internet for perspectives on working from home for those of us who are actually doing it, and all I find usually are those pesky ads. Your post is exactly what I was looking for. I do my best to juggle, but it’s always helpful to see what others are doing and get new ideas for ways I can improve. Thank you so very much.
Great post, Shaunna! My first time to visit here and you really have put into writing what we all mothers dream to do/have! Being idealistic sometimes poses a strong contrast to the realities of a mother’s daily life. I am a doctor, practicing in a clinic at home. I am my own boss, yet many times I feel guilty not being able to be present where I need to be for the family. Many times however, I lock up the clinic and bond with my family… and I feel guilty too not being there for my patients.! I realize we just have to put up some balance. I still have many things that I plan to do and learn: sew, do more crafting, learn how to blog, start a profitable business… the list is endless. I guess we just have to live day to day and be inspired to do the best that we can!Keep up the good work! More power!
Thank you so much for compiling these tips! I feel the definitely transcend the working from home workforce as well. I work part-time with two kiddos, but need to remind myself of what’s important in life and try not to focus too much on keeping up. Thanks again!
BEAUTIFUL Article! I shared it on my blogs facebook page! 🙂
I like your blog, I work at home too. I also put God first, Family, Church and work next in that order. you can find me at latenightstamper or stampandscrap at blogspot.com
Thanks for visiting and giving me your opinion of my blog. Bless you, Sherrill Graff
I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?
Plz respond as I’m looking to create my own blog and would like to find out
where u got this from. cheers