It’s late.

I’m awake.  I usually am this time of night.  But I’m usually laughing with Matt or with one of you.

Tonight, I don’t know, I was just searching.  Searching for Truth in this world.  Searching for a small, but resonating glimpse of It in the flesh.  Maybe it’s the preparations for Honduras.  Maybe it’s that I’m continuously feeling the quiet knock of adoption on this mama’s heart….and that I’m ever so quietly in prayer for my sweet, talented, and world-changing friend’s adoption.  Maybe it’s that my dad will have a biopsy done this month.  Maybe that I’m scared or not scared enough.  Maybe it’s because this has been one of those dream-making weeks.  Maybe it’s everything.

I know this is heavy.  Too much maybe.  But it’s me.  And you sort of get all of me around here.

I picked up a book.  It felt heavy, too far removed from the world I’m in.  Too polished, too edited.  I searched for authentic and it led me to all of you.  To this place that is home for me.  The place I come to be inspired.  And so I searched.

My searching gently dropped me off here.

As the tears came and my hands trembled while I thought of my sleeping babies down the hall, I stopped searching.

Here He is.  Here is love.  Here is Truth.  Here is Grace.

While I cried prayerful tears for this woman I don’t know, I was encouraged, challenged, and uplifted by her.

And her path led me here.

I cried some more.  Thought some more of the friend I spent but a glimmer of time with, the friend I felt I should have known for a lifetime.  Whose writing moves mountains.

When I write about stuff, about things, know this:

There’s much more to me, just as there is of you.  Of them.

Tonight is for them.  No project, no accomplishments.

For the authentic women out there.  The ones who are.  The ones who inspire with just a breath, a flutter of the keys.

They are the real deal.  The authentic.

And so are you.

Thanks for letting me get real.  For being real.

Sending them and you all my love tonight.

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