I’ve been reading the posts of Fresh Year, Fresh Start at Run the Earth, Watch the Sky for several weeks now, but this is the first time I’ve linked up with them. This week was all about parenting….
I love those days when I’m rested enough, patient enough, purposeful enough. The truth is that’s not always reality. I’m sleeping little, frustrated plenty, and wandering through some days as I strive to parent with a Godly heart. Enter satan….it’s so simple and SO easy to parent out of frustration. It comes so naturally to get frustrated with bad behavior and react negatively to our children. This is a constant struggle of mine.
I was talking with one of my friends about parenting to “show off our child’s behavior.” It is only natural to want our children to behave respectfully and kindly to those around us, but we must check our motivation behind this desire. Is it because we want to see fruits of the dwelling of Christ in them or is it because we want recognition from our peers as a “good mommy?”
Not only is parenting for performance ineffective, it is wrong. It’s important to teach my 3 year old, my 6 month old, that obeying their parents is a blessing that prospers their lives. Teaching through heart purposes is righteous, and anything less is not what I’m called to give.
I haven’t read Don’t Make Me Count to Three: a Mom’s Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline, but my sweet and Christ-purposed friend, Lisa, says it is wonderful and it’s NEXT on my ever-growing reading list!
“God, please purify my heart of selfishness in my parenting! Humble me before You so that I might remember I am still a student myself. Soften my heart towards my children’s outward behaviors so that I can parent them for Your purposes and not my own. Convict me of all pride in their “performance” and lead us to a place of intimate closeness to You. Amen.”
*disclosure: i am a member of amazon associates and if purchasing the link above, i will receive a small percentage of the sale.*
Thank you for this gentle reminder that we are rearing our children for God, not to impress others. I often need to look how I am parenting my daughters and make sure that I am employing correction and discipline in order to help them grow in character and not just to make life easier for me.
I know, Tracey! It is so easy for me to forget it's all about pleasing Him, not even myself! And you're right on with the "easier for me" part–thank you for even more conviction!
Hopped over from the linky on Kristi's blog. This is a great post. And one that is so true! I want to determine to be the right kind of mother, for the right reason. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
You are so, so right – our motivation for parenting can so easily become skewed. We can quickly start to parent for our own glory, or even our child's happiness, rather than with a purpose of training them in holiness for the glory of God.
You may be interested in "Effective Parenting in a Defective World" by Chip Ingram. It's about how the ultimate goal of parenting is to teach them to be Christlike, nothing else. We cannot teach them to be forgiving, good stewardship, how to suffer in a Godly way, how to be a good student, how to have good manners, etc., unless WE are Christlike and model those behaviors. It completely changed my perspective on parenting! I'll have to read Lisa's recommendation!
Oh, yes, this is Jennifer Butts, by the way. I love your blogs!
Thank you all for your comments and further encouragement!! I'm excited to see you, patty! 🙂
Thank you so much for this wonderful, honest post!
hiiiiiiiiiiiii