It’s late.
I’m awake. I usually am this time of night. But I’m usually laughing with Matt or with one of you.
Tonight, I don’t know, I was just searching. Searching for Truth in this world. Searching for a small, but resonating glimpse of It in the flesh. Maybe it’s the preparations for Honduras. Maybe it’s that I’m continuously feeling the quiet knock of adoption on this mama’s heart….and that I’m ever so quietly in prayer for my sweet, talented, and world-changing friend’s adoption. Maybe it’s that my dad will have a biopsy done this month. Maybe that I’m scared or not scared enough. Maybe it’s because this has been one of those dream-making weeks. Maybe it’s everything.
I know this is heavy. Too much maybe. But it’s me. And you sort of get all of me around here.
I picked up a book. It felt heavy, too far removed from the world I’m in. Too polished, too edited. I searched for authentic and it led me to all of you. To this place that is home for me. The place I come to be inspired. And so I searched.
My searching gently dropped me off here.
As the tears came and my hands trembled while I thought of my sleeping babies down the hall, I stopped searching.
Here He is. Here is love. Here is Truth. Here is Grace.
While I cried prayerful tears for this woman I don’t know, I was encouraged, challenged, and uplifted by her.
And her path led me here.
I cried some more. Thought some more of the friend I spent but a glimmer of time with, the friend I felt I should have known for a lifetime. Whose writing moves mountains.
When I write about stuff, about things, know this:
There’s much more to me, just as there is of you. Of them.
Tonight is for them. No project, no accomplishments.
For the authentic women out there. The ones who are. The ones who inspire with just a breath, a flutter of the keys.
They are the real deal. The authentic.
And so are you.
Thanks for letting me get real. For being real.
Sending them and you all my love tonight.
Sweet Shaunna, I needed to read this post tonight. I’ve been thinking heavy and deep tonight too. Life is just a vapor. The older I get the more I realize it and it scares me and makes me want to be better. To be enough.
I won’t ever be “enough”, but He, yes HE is enough.
Love ya girl.
I am humbled by women like that. Beautiful women. Thanks for sharing.
While I’m not much of a crier your post and the one you linked to really touched me. I feel it has been hard for me to find authentic people to surround myself with lately and yet I am blessed enough to stumble into this blogland and find inspirational women such as yourself. Thank you for this reminder of humility.
Sleep well
Thank you for sharing, Kaitlin. I had gotten great about not crying, but man, these last two weeks I’ve been a giant mess! SO thankful you’ve found authenticity in the blogosphere…praying you can find some of it in the “real world” too. 😉
xo
shaunna
thank you for sharing your lovely thoughts and words. You’ve said it all so eloquently. I think it’s good to soul search and keep it real. Thanks for the gentle reminder.
hugs
Sissie
Thank you for sharing those stories. Heart wrenching. Inspiring. Beautiful.What a perfect way to start my Sunday morning. And thank you for being real.
Just what I needed this morning Shaunna – another soft and sweet reminder that it’s not all about making things “pretty”, having the latest and greatest, or even having the home of your dreams. Though all of those things have their place, I have caught myself realizing that it’s the legacy of faith, of character, and of inner beauty that I truly want to leave behind. Thank you for this post and for your willingness to be vulnerable and authentic with ALL of us!
xoxo,
Emily
What a sweet and meaningful post…. There is nothing more beautiful than authentic women…. I know the feeling you’re having. That’s how God speaks to us about adoption. He uses that little nudge nudge, and then He knocks you over with a boulder! I would love to share the story of our 2 adoption miracles with you sometime. Drive on down to Fairhope, and we’ll have a cup of coffee.
hugs
Sweet words. I think that if I had put my “baby” out there as you have this week, I would feel a little raw, a little vulnerable, exposed, wondering what response I would get. I admire you for looking to the One who knows our heart best and finding peace there.
Thank you Shaunna for the reminder to be authentic. Sometimes we (I) get caught up in the stuff that “needs” to get done. And I forget to be all of who He created me to be. Not just the decorator. But the homeschooling Momma, the friend, the sister, the wife, etc.
XO
Shaunna.
Thanks for the reminding me of how blessed I am and to make sure I focus on what matters.
I will pray for your tug toward adoption. It is one of the most beautiful processes a daughter of the King can go through. My little adopted man turns 6 today and he is one of the best gifts ever given to me, and to my family…he is a huge blessing!
Thanks for being real and sharing yor life with us!
Shauna,
You are precious.
I have been where you were last night…searching.
And I know exactly what you mean about finding it here online in the lives of amazing, real, genuine women. They have lifted my soul and encouraged me in ways they will never fully know or understand on this earth. They have pointed me back to HIM.
Just as you do, friend.
So blessed to know you…
Traci
Thank you, Traci. I feel the exact same way about you, too. Who doesn’t love a servant woman who has a rockin laundry and mudroom to boot?? 🙂 But really, thank you for everything.
xoxo
shaunna
Love this post. That’s what drew me to you, you are real. Having met you in person I love you even more.
It is so hard to find that authenticity. People hide. Friends hurt each other. What an amazing God we have to help us through the times when we feel alone.
Love you!
Lisa~
exactly. 🙂
xoxo
shaunna
So beautifully written, Shaunna. Thank you. For your words. For your sentiments. For being You.
YOU are such a sweet, sweet person! Keep your chin up and keep thinking positive 🙂 Things always work out the way they are supposed to. Believe. 😉
Hope you have sweet dreams tonite!
dear shaunna,
it was wonderful meeting you at blissdom, though ever so brief! i’m so happy to have now found your blog, what a treasure of beautiful spaces and beautiful writing. thank you so much for reaching out. i am blessed to meet such wonderful women here. much love and blessings in your journey.
and i’m adding you to my reader!
xo,
edie
Well, DITTO and I’ll take that as an honor. Got you in mine, too, of course. Hope you’re having a great day.
xoxo
shaunna 🙂
This is good, I understand greatly….. and I found your blog the other day- My thought ” Oh I have a lot in common with her”. Husband in ministry, a love to paint furniture, etc. Thanks Shaunna!
I so need this today all I can say is Blessed! I am so blessed to have stumbled upon this beautiful post. It gives me so much hope that there are beautiful Christ loving women out there that know how to put the spark back into life!
I am grateful and my heart is full for is such an Amazing God!
Blessings!
Thanks so much Gen…that means the world to me. 🙂
xoxo
shaunna