We’ve spent a great deal of time talking about imperfection, you and I.
I named this blog because I was aware of how very flawed we all are. How flawed I am. But the truth of it is this. We still dress up our flaws, polish them out until there’s only a small amount of dull remaining. Reveal just enough of our real selves so we are relatable but still respectable.
A friend told me some truths this week. Told me that if I didn’t blog about what’s gone on in my life this year that I’d never be excited about writing again. I’d never feel fully authentic. Said that I really made my imperfect a little too pretty, and that it was shared with the right lighting and the right amount of perfect thrown in. That my life looked a little too together.
I sat there in silence. Mouth wide open, slightly pissed. But I was also convicted. They were right. And I hate that…I’ve always wanted my life to be completely real. I’m not much for show and pretense and the thought of this place I created with you by my side turning into a half truth made me feel a little sick.
Without going into detail, because some things are just for me, I’ll tell you that this last year I went through a divorce. Am still going through it. Whew. There it is.
Raw, messy imperfection. Probably imperfection you didn’t expect.
I’ll tell you the last two years have been the hardest of my life, and there were some really dark places. That my prayer is for my family to continue to love other people, no matter who they are and where they come from. To care for each other as best we can. That my children will be loved and see the invisible God that I don’t always feel connected to, but know is there, carrying me through this time. That they will be healthy and happy and that I never, for one second, forget that my life should serve purposes outside of my own.
I’m grateful for the chance to be fully open with you. For you to know when I say imperfect, I mean it. I know what it looks like. How it dresses and what it feels like down to my bones. And I know if we pay attention and look at the people we meet and the situations we’re in as teachers, that those broken places can drive us to something bigger. There will be good that comes from this dull, dingy spot. And from your own.
I’m just so sorry for all of you. I hate that you had to share this, but hopefully some healing can come through that sharing. I will pray for all of you and He will get you through to the other side.
Thank you, Jamie, for your kind words!
Friends do have a way of holding up a mirror, don’t they? I can understand how difficult that is to share. I’m in a situation where we simply cannot afford to go our separate ways, which is frustrating and oh so lonely. Thanks so much for sharing your imperfection. We can all relate.
They sure do…and I’m so very sorry to hear that. I hope you can find your own peace in your situation. I truly do.
Ouch! I was so not expecting that. But, your friend is right. I haven’t been following you very closely since you opened your store. I don’t know if it was jealousy or the fact that you looked a little too perfect. You are super smart, brave, and beautiful so I know you will do just fine. Now lets see what you can do with that Salt Wash…dying to try it.
Christine, I hate to hear that. I’ve always tried to say I am far, far from perfect. Always have been. Always will be. And as far as Salt Wash goes, that’ll be coming soon I’m sure.
I think it’s great that you are starting with being honest. If we don’t have truth what do we really have? My truth is that I’m a mid 30’s Christian momma of 2 trying desperately to hold onto my marriage and have been since day 1. It’s a tough place to be in. I look at all the generations of marriages where you just didn’t divorce and I wonder if they were also miserable and just dealt with it or they knew something I don’t about how to survive. Either way it feels really good to just be honest about it all. Best wishes for you and your family 🙂
Oh, honey, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through such a gruesome ordeal, and sorry that the pressure to maintain a “perfect” public persona has been painful. Many of us have been there, and we can tell you this much is true: You’re more “perfect” than you know. And things get better, they really, truly, do. Put your energies towards your children and your soul–and put down the stuff that’s too heavy to carry right now (maybe forever!) I hope this particular “reveal” will be one you end up feeling great about.
Shaunna…please just know you have many many prayers going up for you and your sweet family. Even though you don’t know all of us personally, I feel like I can speak for most of your followers….we hurt with you and are so very sorry for what you have gone through. Hold on to Him ☝🏼🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 I promise He hears you.
That was a brave post to write and I know a difficult one. I think this is an amazing freedom in putting the truth out there, though. It’s not hanging over your head or hiding in a corner, waiting to spring out. And I have faith in this blog community, that is in large part, an awesome group that will encourage and rally around you. I know I will!
I’m sorry to hear this news. It is brave for you to admit it. The “blogging” business is very dangerous…..as is all social media. It is NEVER what it appears to be from the outside looking in. It seemed to be that your blog started very simple to teach painting techniques and then all hell broke loose. No more simple tutorials with hearing your kids in the background or hearing your phone ringing. It seems everyone calls their blog an outlet or a hobby but very quickly turns out to be about making money and you need your loyal followers to make that money. Shauna, I am not criticizing you. I can see how easy it is to get caught up and be very competitive with your peers. I think it would be a whole lot easier if bloggers just put the truth out there that they are trying to start a business with to make money. If it was a simple blog to teach or interest people it wouldn’t have to take over your life. You would still be juggling a million balls as a wife and mother but the blog being a success wouldn’t be so important. Hope you and your family will get through this happy and healthy.
Wow. I can not even fathom how anyone could follow this blog, read this post, and choose to address anyone this way. None of us can see into anyone’s private life, no matter how open they try to be with sharing in person or on social media. Everyone does the best they can with what they are dealing with at the time. Anyone that has ever faced a life changing event in private or in the public eye will love you through it with an innate understanding. If they don’t, that’s also alright. One day, they may find themselves in the same position. They will have a valuable life lesson before them at that time.
Shaunna, I have personally followed you for a very long time. I love how you started in your garage doing what you love. And I’ve enjoyed watching you grow and become successful. That is what tends to happen when you love what you do. You are good at it. and what you plant, grows. I can only imagine how each decision you make here must be carefully thought out and weighed before that final post click. But I must say, often times I believe you relate so effortlessly and it is so authentically done. YOU ARE BRAVE. Because you do not hide! We see it’s you. In your flawed and in your more perfect moments. I for one believe you to have strength and grace unlike most anyone else I’ve come across. You keep doing you. You do it well! And I support you in faith, love, and perfect imperfection.
I pray for you and your little family. For healing, understanding, and gratitude that you are still here. As we all are. That are doing the best we can.
Well-said.
Amen!
Yes, well said. And though it may not be in God’s plans for Shaunna and Matt, I’ve known couples who reunite again. Maybe that’s not what’ll happen…..none of us mere mortals know. But we do know that God loves us no matter what.
@Kathy
Sorry, but I need to address this. If you follow any blogs at all, you can see that many started Exactly where Shauna did, at the time with her husband. And they made joint decisions along the way to grow from their hobbies, into the business that it is today. I don’t believe for one moment that she pursued become a well know brand over her husband and children. It evolved, as many businesses do, from a humble beginning. Even Steve Jobs started in his garage!
That being said, you have no idea what caused their divorce. You don’t have access to any of the details that led up to it. None of us do. It wasn’t necessarily the business that led to a parting of the ways. Many couples divorce every day, both Christian and secular, for more reasons than you can even imagine. Sometimes as horrible as abuse or infidelity, various addictions; sometimes as simple as growing apart and having different dreams. Yes, we all want our happily ever after, but reality is, life happens. And sometimes it’s harder for some than for others. None of us are guaranteed forever. Even if we do everything right as a wife, there are still 2 people in that marriage, making choices. I pray that you never have to live through a divorce. It’s devastating! Sharing it is humbling, to say the least. But to have a total stranger say that “If you had only done it this way, none of this would have happened, and you’d still be happily married.”, as if you had inside details…..I don’t know how, but for the grace of God alone she didn’t say more to you. I would say that goes a long way to show her true strength of character comes from her Heavenly Father, who will now walk beside her as her Husband, and keep her upright in the days and years to come.
Years ago when I first subscribed to your blog my words to you were “you had me with your smile!” Keep smiling Shaunna, things will get better.
I’m so sad for you and your kids, Shaunna… I’ve walked that difficult road myself and come out on the other side. My prayer is that in sharing that hard truth you will be surrounded and uplifted by this sweet community. You’re so right to cling to Him, the one who will never leave or forsake you, who loves you for exactly who you are — perfect or imperfect. I will keep you and yours in my prayers!
xo Heidi
I have never claimed to be an intuitive person but the lack of communication from you and also your lack of mentioning the husband was very clear you were suffering, and likely suffering from marriage problems. So many of us have been there and so many of us feel for you. This is a painful time in your life and no one has the right to interfere or insist on knowing what is happening with you, but I am sending you my own personal great big HUG and I know I speak for many others when I say, you did what you must to protect yourself and now it’s out there, and most important, you are still loved as much as you ever were. Your strength will get you through.
Marian L. What a very nice reply. I also had surmised that there might be family issues. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been there whether or not they divorced of stayed together. No one knows what goes on behind other’s front doors and Shaunna had the support of all of us. We all have walked difficult paths and most of us come out on the other side fairly intact. Know that we are with you and support you with what ever you decide to do that is best for you and your kids.
Hang in there!
I completely understand your not sharing everything in your personal life with us, but this may make life a bit easier for you. When things seem overwhelming, “let go and let God.”
Shaunna,
Thank you for being transparent. Thank you for being real. I’m so sorry for what your family has gone through. As a child of a divorce I’m sorry for your precious kiddos too. I’m so glad you have your faith and our mighty God to carry you through this. Praying for you.
There’s an unbelievable beauty surrounding a person, that comes with being real. Because being real means being really brave. Especially in this day and age. I’m praying for you and hoping there are brighter days just ahead on your horizon! You’re not alone. So many of us struggle in our marriages, and subsequently our faith, too. But I know you’ll pull through this. I know because He is mighty enough to bring you through. He is mighty to save. On top of which, you’re his child and he cares for you. We care too. Your readers. Your friends.
Appreciate your openness and courage. Sometimes bad things happen; sometimes we just can’t fix the hurt, rather accept and ask for forgiveness, help and support. And offer it when we can as well. It looks like your readers are in the “offering mode.” Blessings, comfort and perseverance to you.
Shaunna, I am so sorry to hear it, because I have been there with two small children and I know how painful and frightening it is. And some days you wonder if you will ever trust someone fully again. But believe me when I say the days ahead will bring more joy than you can imagine, and the beauty that is you is so special to so many. You have the prayers and love of so many friends, so I hope you can feel that and it will help on the tough days. May God help all of you find the gifts of tomorrow.
My sweet friend, I know how much courage that took to put this out there! Having been there myself I can feel the weight of it right through the computer screen. The disappointment and fear can take a real tole on your soul, but you must always hold on to the truth that you are a daughter of the King! He’s got this! He’s got you! Right in the very palm of his hand. There are times you can do nothing else than simply rest in that. Praying for you!
I have to say I expected that…there were signs there that made me say to my hubby, she’s getting divorced. Been there, done that…it was hard and real and sucked…my kids were 3 and 6, I was a stay at home mom, had no family near me…however, now fifteen years later? Worth it all…I was stronger and smarter than I thought, had friends that amazed me with love and support, and I made a new improved me…I’m friends with my ex, have the greatest second husband, a career I wouldn’t have had if I didn’t divorce…the list goes on! It all works out just as it should in time. Have faith, the second act will be beautiful;)
Shanna, I am so sorry that this has happened. Hang in there, keep your faith. Like Terri said, “He’s got this!” and He will get you through this. Keep your head up high….you are stronger than you realize. Praying for you!
Hello Lady,
So many thoughts and prayers for you all. I know the truth of beauty from ashes. He is so amazingly faithful. I am so thankful for your post and the freedom and joy that will come in time. You have a community of the best kind of authentic real folks who love, care and support you from near and afar. Amen.
We are all broken and cracked pots who the Father fashions through His amazing grace.
We have missed your voice.
Hugs.
So brave of you to put it out there- sending hugs and prayers your way & wishing you all the strength to get through it and come out on the other side, stronger than before….
Thank you so much for being transparent Shauna. I cannot image the heartache you’ve been going through. Know that you are in my prayers. God be with you & hold you tight.
Praying for healing and strength for you. You are a doer and an achiever. You are an inspiration and a teacher. Now, remember to trust Him and hold on tight. When you feel that your prayers are hitting the ceiling, let fellow believers come alongside you and be your prayer voice. Let them intercede on your behalf. Some day you’ll be able to do the same for them, when they need it.
I’m sorry that you and your children are going through this. I wish there was something I could do for you all. I will pray that things will work out in the best way for all of you.
It is true that NOBODY is perfect….nobody’s life is perfect. Working through the imperfections helps strengthen our characters. Things will get better!
Shaunna, I admire your courage in putting what you’ve been going through out there. We’re all just human, and life throws curve balls at us all. I feel most comfortable with the people who are real with me. I’m sure many of your readers feel the same. I hope that you can continue to do what you love and find joy in that. My parents divorced when I was young, and I feel like it was a blessing to my sister and I that they did. Living with constant tension and conflict isn’t good for anyone…adults or children. Prayers to you and your family.
Romans 8:28
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.
That is my wish for you and all of us that sometimes feel like giving up and fear our faith my not be enough…That we believe this verse wholeheartedly. We’ve all been there…Be brave, believe and may you look back at this time with a smile knowing it was your best growing time…
Dont let society or people allow you to think a divorce is imperfect. If this is the best solution for all parties, i dont see any imperfection on that. Time heals it all, hope it passes soon and you can soon be back from this trip. Love xoxo
Thank you for sharing. You are wonderful and right when you say we’re all imperfect. I’m much older than you are and on my 2nd chapter and suffered like you are now but looking back, everything happens for a reason and I wouldn’t change a thing as it made me the person I am today, and I like who I am. And you should too. You’re beautiful, talented, a great mother, inspirational and brave. You and your kids will get through this and I know GOD will make sure HIS plan for you is Grand… because HE loves you and YOU are HIS child and he protects us… and you deserve it!
Keep sharing, it becomes you!
Shaunna, I applaud your honesty, and agree with Miss Mustard Seed that there is freedom and relief in having your dark secrets “out there” and no longer festering in the hidden places of our lives.
Your situation impacted me deeply and I have been thinking about what to say since I read your post last night.
I hope you can find gifts of knowledge and wisdom woven into the cracks and corners of this difficult season. I pray that you and your ex can work to build a world of love between you for your kids. And I hope that you will feel God’s love showering down to help you get through.
You are in my thoughts and prayers,
The Other Marian
Praying in agreement with you. I am twice divorced, but now happily married to a Godly husband. We worked very hard in raising our children and still co-parenting as peacefully as possible with the ex-spouses. Not always an easy task. Their were fights and arguments, but we tried to not let the kids witness that, and I would say 99% of the time it was calm interactions. If we needed to discuss things, it was done privately. I worked extra hard to befriend my husband’s ex-wife, even after a while praying with her over the kids, sharing a united front at sports events and school events. Our youngest just graduated from college, and we were able to celebrate by all going out to dinner together. It was not easy in the beginning, but so worth it, as our adult kids still tell us how much they appreciate how we handled it; after watching their friend’s parents do it as enemies. It involved praying without ceasing some days, and asking God to make me WILLING to be willing, because some days I just plain did not want to. But God saw us through. He heals the brokenhearted. He still does the impossible. . .
I hate it when I am convicted about something! It is never easy and never comfortable. Praying for you and your family. Thanks for being “real”. I pray for peace, strength, and support as you walk through this journey
Shaunna, found this post today, that might bring you comfort. If you haven’t discovered her blog yet, she is a great source of encouragement!
Praying with you and for you, each of you. .
.http://sarahmae.com/2016/02/to-the-broken-one/
i know that must be a relief off your shoulders. you are brave and strong. love you.
I’m so sorry that you have had such a hard situation. I know that it was hard to post about this sad news. I pray for healing for you and your family.
I have nothing to say other than hugs to you and your family. You made a comment to me about unanswered prayers with regards to your hgtv pilot and I thought it might be something like this. you are brave to share it.
You wrote that your friend….”Said that I really made my imperfect a little too pretty, and that it was shared with the right lighting and the right amount of perfect thrown in. That my life looked a little too together.” Did she, as your friend, understand that IS who you really are? That making the world around you beautiful to the eye, is very important to you, to the people you share it with through your blog, and all those of us who love to see your style? Well, if she didn’t understand that AND that you still, like us all, are perfectly imperfect, I’d wonder what kind of ‘friend’ she is. Just because people want to show their best side, doesn’t make them a “little too together”. Besides you have shared with us many of your ups and downs, your imperfections if you will,….and now the dreaded “D” word: Divorce. You ARE real and yes, you ARE together…..in a way that makes you YOU and IMHO perfectly perfect in God’s eyes.
People always want to judge us if they perceive our lives look “better’ in someway than there’s. It’s the old “push others down, instead of pulling yourself up” syndrome. Don’t let them (even that friend!) do that to you. Be you, Shaunna 🙂
Keep the Faith Shaunna…..Prayers are going up all over for you and your family. Psalm 91:2
I’m not surprised by this post …. It seemed like there was something large going unsaid. And I think your friend did you a huge service. Those are the friends you want to keep close. I think enough said. I feel like the mystery is solved and I just want to continue following along and being inspired by whatever you share here because I really enjoy your creativity and your writing.
I totally understand how hard that must have been for you to share. Not the kind of thing to share until you are absolutely ready. I am blessed with a good marriage, but, our son has issues, and is currently in jail. I spent years not really sharing with my friends the realities of our home life. When I felt ready, I began sharing with those closest to me, and gradually became more open. As painful as it has been, (and I do mean painful), the love and support has been very comforting, and helped us to feel stronger. Not sharing sooner doesn’t necessarily mean that you were trying to project a certain image, it just takes time to get to a place where it feels right. That amount of time is different for everyone.
You are a strong person with a good heart. God bless you and your family.
Shaunna – so many of us have been there and know divorce really bites. The good news is – in time- you will heal and life will be joyful. Learn the lessons He reveals to you and don’t look back.