When I mentioned in my post about how we are fitting in writing the book in our schedule, I made a joke about making a list of all that I don’t do….people seem to be asking a lot and I thought it was funny.
But then y’all laughed and said I should. I got a couple of emails and Facebook comments, and I thought we should put it out there.
First, a few things:
–I never, ever want to give the impression on this blog that I’m some kind of super-mama or that we have everything figured out and under control all the time, or even that we never have down days or feel overwhelmed or stressed. This is life. It’s imperfect–and so is our family and our schedule.
—Our normal and your normal may not look the same. How we fill our lives is all up to us…so while we’re “busy,” it’s only because we choose those things, and leave others out.
–I am, by nature, scattered and passionate about lots of things. This is good, but it can lead to taking on too much, not saying no often enough, & doing lots of things, but not all of them well. I (and Matt) have to keep me in check on these.
–Because of that random scattered/i-want-to-tackle-everything-as-fast-as-i-can-nature, I am slowly learning to accept imperfection and the fact I can’t do everything I want to every single day. Some days are for loads of homeschooling and lesson planning and some days are for cooking better dinners, and some days are for blogging marathons, and some are for writing the book. It’s my weird way of balancing…not trying to tackle everything every day.
Disclaimers and understanding aside, here’s my shameless list of “I don’t.”
I don’t wash my face every day anymore…I know, it’s terrible. I don’t use under eye cream or anti-aging serum. I don’t clean my car out daily…in fact, it’s pretty gross and very messy.
I don’t pluck my eyebrows but have them waxed every 8 weeks. That means Matt starts giving me disapproving stares around week 6.5.
I don’t buy the groceries every week. Matt loves that (really??), so he helps out with it when he can.
I don’t wear real clothes every day…in fact, my typical uniform is gym shorts and some random t shirt that’s clean, because, oh yeah..
I don’t keep up with laundry like I should. In phases, I stay on top of it, and then all of a sudden, we have 10 loads to do and it feels like a mountain of work, so I do it, dry it, and then promptly dump it in a pile on the floor. Wash, Rinse, Dry, Pile, Repeat.
I don’t make my kids clean up every mess they make immediately. Sometimes, we do, but sometimes, we wait until the next day. There’s flexibility in that for me…which means, our house can either look amazingly tidy or horrifically messy.
I don’t bleach my slipcovers enough, and so they’re about to retire.
I don’t panic at ALL about stains and marks and spills. My mom’s face starts twitching when she sees the kids painting in the floor or my stack of brushes on the kitchen counter.
I don’t keep up with every single item we need to buy like lightbulbs, Brillo pads, or extra razor blades. Sometimes we run out for a few days before we go get them again.
I don’t fix everything in our house that needs fixing. We like to finish big projects, but we’re not great with small repairs. Case in point: when we had the whole downstairs painted white, the painter put the door handle on backwards so you have to lift up instead of down to open the door. It’s still like that. That was a year and a half ago.
I don’t deep clean our house anymore. When the blog was a full-time job & then we began homeschooling & opened the store, we decided it was time to enlist help to keep the house from being a life size terrarium for dirt and grime and creatures. I clean the kitchen almost daily, and do lots of organizing, cleaning out, and straightening, but we have the biggest blessing in the world come to the house to combat the terrarium. (P.S. SUCH a hard decision for us, but it was the right one so we could have some family time at the end of our days)
I don’t have pedicured feet or manicured nails. No need for explanation.
I don’t take the kids to the zoo, or museum, or big field trips every week. And that’s okay. We go when we can, but we try to include them in our work, not exclude them, so our days are fun for them, too.
I don’t quit work at 5 or 6 or even 10 p.m. (It’s Sunday afternoon, and I’ve written 4 posts for this week) Now, don’t worry about me…
Because I don’t work every moment of the day. Or everyday. Or if something comes up and the kids DO want to go somewhere…we stop what we’re working on and we go. There are exceptions (like right now working on the book for 4 months).
I don’t “do lunch” out, or have girlfriend movie dates, or go have coffee a lot.
I don’t wash my hair everyday or do things like keep the back porch tidy. #pollendustmagnet
I don’t drink enough water a lot of the time.
We don’t take our kids to lots of birthday parties or activities like gymnastics. They do a few of their favorites throughout the year, and we go to close friends’ parties and sleepovers, but we like quiet family-focused time on the weekends.
I don’t answer all of my emails. I want to…I didn’t clean out my 3 inboxes for 3 months, and there. were. 11,000. Yikes.
We don’t mow our yard enough. We try to get help, but then they don’t come, so guess what? It doesn’t get mowed. #blacklistedneighbors
*******************************************************
I hope that’s enough. I’m starting to feel crummy about myself.
All jokes aside, our schedule, what we do…it works for us. But, it’s not for everyone. At the end of the day, we’re happy when we’re spending time with our Creator, introducing our kids to Him, giggling with them, and working on the things we love…as we can.
So that’s what we do, and the dishes wait until tomorrow.
“Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.”
–Colossians 3, the message
This is my favorite post you’ve ever written! I’ve been neglecting my blog (because life gets in the way) and now I feel less guilty about all the stuff I don’t do either!
Thanks for the inspiring and honest post!
You are MY KIND OF WOMAN! I’m in my 70s now, still working full time, and it sounds as if we could swap houses without skipping a beat. My husband even does the grocery shopping also, and my children are both happy, successful and contributing members of society, so the lifestyle you describe apparently served only to make them better! You go, girl!
the perfect post! As a blogger, homeschooling mama of two and both my husband and I running our own small businesses, our lives are very similar. My house is generally in chaos too! I call it lived in 🙂
What a great post. I don’t have a blog but I follow along on yours and many others.
It’s good to know that I’m not the only one who does laundry like you do. As I type I am attempting to get seven loads done.Yikes! That’s kind of funny about the door handles. I replaced all of our hinges and handles two years ago and the doors squeak when you open or close them. I keep saying I’m going to grease them but I haven’t and it’s okay. I love our life and I love that I have been finally able to let things go and just enjoy the time we have together.
I absolutely needed this post today!! Thank you for sharing!!!
Woman – you rock! Thank you so much for doing this post. It makes me feel so much better about what I don’t get done during the day. I’m a Type A person who likes order and schedules, but with 2 kids (soon to be 3) all under 4 years, I’ve allowed myself to let go and focus on what matters. I started blogging to get some of myself back. I’m a full-time stay at home mom and like you, have a bazillion other things going on. Glad I’m not alone 🙂 Thank you!
Thank God! I’m not alone. I swear you just posted about my life. Minus the homeschooling and God Bless the young man who regularly shows up to mow. My house looks like hoarders because I have no where else to paint furniture. Even my kids’ friends are used to it. They are never surprised when they stop by and have to move furniture. I’m just happy I haven’t forgotten the kids anywhere and I brush my teeth. Small accomplishments!
Thanks for this! I’m wanting to work on some writing projects of my own and it seems like there’s no room in my life for them. It’s so reassuring to hear about the things others are willing to let go of to get other things done!
So many of these are me as well! With 14-month-old quadruplets that I take care of full-time at home (while also being a part-time writer & blogger from home) and my husband working out of the home full-time, our house stays BUSY. And lived in. I have no problem turning off the kitchen light at day’s end and going to the couch with my husband to watch our favorite TV show and relax together after we’ve put the babies to bed. Dishes can ALWAYS be done later, but time together is now. I may steal this idea for a post on my blog as well! Thanks for sharing, honestly!
~Amber
bellsandkilts.blogspot.com
Great post! 🙂
You have such a great blog and seem to accomplish so much. Thanks for being authentic with us. Most of us have struggles and this kind of post is very helpful. I just started reading diy and decorating blogs sometime in May. I must have seen your blog (don’t remember when) at least once and was impressed by the title. When I was writing my stepson’s (4/1/1970 to 5/22/2013) eulogy, the phrase ‘perfectly imperfect’ came to mind.
I have been avoiding looking at anything to do with Stephen’s death . I hope you don’t mind me sharing this with you as I can feel my heart opening as I reread these paragraphs in his eulogy.
“Like most of us, Stephen was imperfectly perfect or maybe it was perfectly imperfect. At any rate, he had challenges from inherited tendencies and the heavy conditioning we all acquire from our families and cultures. During the last four years of his life, Stephen suffered extreme pain and disability due to cancer; more than any of us can imagine. He was blessed to have his partner Adrian, his mother Linda, and his friend, Debbie Gonzales, spend hundreds of hours at his bedside caring for him. He went through the fire and at the end, his short comings were burned away and he was refined to the pure essence of who he really was.
Stephen’s legacy is irreplaceable courage, complexity, creativity, faithfulness, forgiveness, gentleness, honesty, humor, joy, kindness, loyalty, tolerance, uniqueness and unconditional love.
Stephen M, Wilson, we love you, and we always will.”
I realized after Haven that by focusing on a few things, I am giving myself the freedom to be really good at those things. Even if it feels like I am giving up a lot, I like the idea that I am actually freeing myself from all the less important things.
And don’t feel bad. You’re doing a great job on many fronts.
The Other Marian
Thanks for being honest, and helping us that are just beginning this journey to remember that it isn’t about working 24/7, its about quality time doing what you love, whether it is working or family or sewing or photography. Thanks for not being perfect, because perfect isn’t really possible, and sometimes I forget that in my quest to be everything to everyone.
We should all be just as happy with what we don’t do, as with what we do! Contentment is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Great post….very true to life for our household, too.
Congratulations! You’re normal!
Now I feel bad about being so frustrated because you haven’t answered my three different emails asking you the same question…….”where do I get the print in your living room w/ the red boat?” Thanks for your honesty.
Ha! Jerri…thank you for your patience. I thought we replied once…there’s a company we ordered from but they are not the most easy to get in touch with and orders take quite a long time to come in. That was one that my husband bought in the showroom at market. We can look into it for you. You can email orders@perfectlyimperfectblog.com or call 334-482-0215. They might drop ship, so we can check into that.
🙂
shaunna
When my husband and I started our own business and it consumed our hours and the house became neglected and dejected, we realized we had to find ways to alleviate some stress. For us, hiring a cleaning crew to come to our home every other week and deep clean became one of the best decisions made. It immediately breathed relief into our home to know that my husband and I could really relax in our clean home. All the heavy duty stuff is covered…my ladies came yesterday and it felt wonderful to wake up this morning to such a sparkling clean house!
I think you are very brave to tell us all about your “I don’t” list. Obviously, each of our “I don’t” lists varies. Some things are negotiable within a particular family and others are not. My “I don’t” list is very different from yours because I have a big time type A husband, but it works for us. It is good for those who look perfect to the rest of us to admit to imperfection and show us the proof through pictures. Thanks for always reminding us that perfection is not required. You rock!
Thanks for sharing, Shaunna. It is nice to be reminded that we can’t do it all, all the time…and that’s ok. I have enjoyed your posts for a couple of months now..on Saturday mornings mostly because that’s about the only time I have to chill by myself while my family sleeps in. May God continue to bless you and yours.
Oh how I love this post!!! I relate on SO many levels! 🙂 xo
I LOVE IT! Our lists of what we don’t do are very similar and I love that you are so REAL! Thanks for sharing 🙂
I wonder if you knew that when you wrote this story of your “imperfections” the good Lord would use those honest words to bless people. It only made your star shine even brighter. I want to thank you for what you are doing with your little ones. We have strayed so far from our founding documents today and I just know you will raise up your children to love what made this country different than all others. Homeschooling is a labor of love. Even though my circumstances are much different than yours, your words hit a home run with me! My grandmother always said “pretty is, is pretty does.” You are one of those individuals that is beautiful inside and out. Thank you for your tutorials I have enjoyed–I rarely write comments anywhere and wanted to make sure you knew that too!
Thank you so much for posting this, Shaunna! It’s like you were talking about me during most of your list! I always compare myself to bloggers and moms who seem to do it all. It gets tiring and I can never keep up! This post inspired me to just be me – as that’s exactly how God made me! And to be okay with that. Thanks again for inspiring me today! 🙂
What a great post! As a new blogger and all around DIYer, I often wonder how all of the more experienced people handle their day. Thanks for sharing!