I think I’ve been avoiding this post for a while.
I’m not sure why. You guys know quite a bit about me, and I’ve shared so much of my life here with you. The truth is, I’ve been quite uninspired the last 6 months. Maybe longer.
To create, to paint, to tell a story.
Life became real and challenging, and somewhere in my mind, I just assumed it would go away. That I’d just push through it. And while life could be harder and certainly circumstances could be worse, the year has been grey and even dark sometimes. There has been real struggle.
I went through a bit of a blogging hiatus, and while I missed connecting with you so very much, there was also the HGTV pilot to be filmed and the house to be worked on. There was life and family and a new store. There was difficulty.
And then we began blogging again.
Beginning the process from scratch felt almost painful, and getting back into our groove has been tough. I read my friend, Marian’s, post the other day and it really resonated with me. Maybe part of the reason I’ve been beating my head against the wall is I’ve been trying to tell the same story.
But life is different for me than when I first began blogging. I was painting furniture in my garage with two babies on my hip, and we were renovating our attic. We changed our entire home in a matter of a couple years, some spaces twice.
Since then, I’ve opened two stores, an online store, wrote a book, and filmed an HGTV pilot. All due to your support and this blog, really. But life looks different. What my days are filled with is new. Some of it is harder, some is easier, but it is most certainly not boring.
So while I miss the makeovers in our home, right now our home is more for living life, for creating for the stores and our look books. I don’t ever want my blog to disappear, but it does have to shift and form around the life I’m living. I miss sharing so much of it here because I’m trying to fit into the old format. An old story.
But it’s time to keep growing. To keep changing.
The makeovers will still be here, but there will be less, and they’ll probably be for our stores or Chapel Market. Our house will still be worked on, but we’ll probably share more clients’ space transformations. I’d love to write more about our stores, since so much of my days are spent there…and I do love what I do. I love business, and I love connecting with those who do as well.
Being real here has been important for me from the beginning, but sometimes it is harder to be raw, exposed and vulnerable. It can wear on your heart, and some things are meant only for you and God himself to deal with. But I do want you to know I struggle. We struggle. Life is not all stores and blogs and paint and books and TV pilots.
Life is hard. I am imperfect, ugly even. My heart is wretched and selfish and so unlike Christ. It’s easy to say that when you aren’t in the pit, but when you are, that’s a tough pill to swallow. And certainly to say out loud.
I do know this, however. The grace that caught me so long ago is still there, even when I can’t feel it, even when I do not know which direction is up. Peace is there, amidst the turmoil in my soul, and this blog is a place for the broken, imperfect people.
We aren’t shiny here, we are not polished. We are not phony. We are more than the surface. We all are. Life is grey. It’s not black and it is not white.
It is truly the mix of it all. The paint can at the back of the mis-tint aisle.
No one has all the answers…there is comfort in this. And I thought, just maybe, some of you might have felt the same this year. Maybe you were muddling through as well. Maybe someone needed to say it out loud.
You know I love your stories. I love the real. I love what we’ve built here. Share them with each other, if you want, in the comment section. Know I’m here right in the midst of the mis-tints. In the middle of the broken.
Right beside you.
I think most of us are here because we dig your style, I like seeing shop pics just as much as makeovers. Just share whatever art/home/style you’re doing and we’ll keep reading!
Thank you, Shauna. It’s nice to know that a little change is alright! 🙂
Thanks for sharing with us Shaunna, I totally understand where you are at right now. I’m sorry life isn’t going as smoothly as you want right now. Sending hugs and prayers your way. You will always be an inspiration to us whether you post once a week or once a month! XOXO
Thanks, Kim! I’ll certainly take it…hope you’re doing so so well! 🙂
Hugs, friend. Big hugs.
Hugs right back. 😉
I think life is a battle. With ourselves. With our humanness. With everything that goes on outside us competing for attention with everything going on inside. And what you are doing is overwhelming.
I just read a book where the author lost all of her energy and hair due to a Vit A overdose. She realized that her life had changed drastically, so it made no sense to expect things to be the same as they were. She talked about giving herself permission to live and expect a new life, based on the reality right now. I found this thought incredibly liberating. I think when you’d life changes, you change with it . And you will be happier if you allow who you have become to dominate your new life, no apologies or regrets. Be happy for the past you’ve had, but live now. Be who you are now.
And don’t forget to rest. You live carrying a heavy burden, but even the strongest Ox at the yolk needs to rest.
And take comfort. It isn’t just you.
Blessings dear lady,
The Other Marian
What book? I would love to read it.
Hey sweet lady. Thank you for sharing…and your comments are always so refreshing to me. Good things right back at you.
I’ve never posted before, but just had to say… I don’t think life is always easy for any of us. I too am a shop owner & things change. Finding balance between family, life & business is a difficult challenge. Sometimes it’s exilerating & sometimes exhausting. There’s so much in life that’s unknown & often I find myself so twisted & confused. I find comfort in knowing my overall goals in life, but it doesn’t make the in between easy. I for one would love to see & here about your new chapter in life… Thr business… The shops… The behind the scenes… The raw & unscripted… The process… The results! Bravo to you for being willing to share the truths of your life.
Thank you Nichole! You’re totally right about the balance. Half exhilarating/exhausting. Part of what makes it so much fun. 😉
I have such similar feelings sometimes. You are an inspiration in so many ways (creatively, spiritually) and the women’s comments above are indeed inspirational as well. To me and likely, many others. Thank you all. I am sorry for your burdens. My prayers to you, Shaunna.
Thank you, Leigh Ann. That’s such a kind, and generous thing to say. Means a whole lot. 🙂
We all go through changes in our lives and it affects us all differently. I do see that many of us find it difficult to continue with activities for a while, like blogging, writing, crafting, etc. Maybe that is when we need time for ourselves to escape and do some things differently, like a vacation away. Literally, I think that sometimes helps! Various incidents in my life have derailed me at times; the death of my husband, having to sell and move, a bout with sciatica, a bout with kidney stones,…so much can happen to detour us and affect our emotional , as well as physically, being.
I do hope you will continue with your blog, but it can be once a month and not daily, so you can breathe and become inspired.
Yes, you’re completely right, Rose. Many thoughts for you as you deal with your own changes. Thank you for being willing to share.
Oh girl – I am SO there with you. I stared a brand new blog and even didn’t use my real name with the hopes that I could be more vulnerable and just kind’ve pick up where I left off before a long hiatus myself. But neither have really happened for me. I haven’t been able to get it rolling this time. I haven’t been able to be quite as vulnerable because it feels so negative at times (and who wants to read an always-negative blog, right?). So I don’t share much at all. Only the fluffy stuff. And the one or two times I’ve let a little “real” peak out, it was met with more crickets than I’d care to admit and that makes me retreat even more. The crickets could even have been people afraid to admit to agreeing or being there, too.
Regardless, you’re spot on. Life isn’t now what it used to be. And that’s how life is SUPPOSED to go, but it still feels foreign sometimes. And I’m really kind’ve in the midst of trying to figure out how to get from where I am to where I want to be… which is so hard… and such a different journey for everyone. And it feels like it’s so far from being a true possibility. Like I’ll only ever dream of it happening. Taking those steps toward it – they’re terrifying! Because if I just stay here in my “dream bubble” and don’t try, then I can’t fail and it’ll still be a possibility. But if I do try, there’s a chance that it’ll never be. Why is that so scary?! Ugh. But it SO is!
Praying for you and your family. Thank you for being real and encouraging the same in me… even though I’m not even sure if I’ve ever commented on your site before. **Hugs!
Hope…I think people crave (and I mean crave) authenticity and genuineness. Go for it. Share it all. Nothing new under the sun and someone out there is dealing with the same things…just like you and I. Thank you so much for sharing and telling me I’m not the only one who feels that way. Thank you for being real right back. 😉
We all have seasons of our lives. This is your blog, your story, your friends. I think you will find folks grow together, walk along side each other through all the changes and seasons. So no apology needed. No explanations. We would love to read about your store, the business side, how the kids are doing, your next dream. We all have our moments. We are all cracked pots at the hands of the Potter. Just stay true to yourself and together we will all travel down His roads for our lives. Chin up. Hugs. and keep sharing.
Thank you, Gloria. So, so true. And sweet of you to pass on an apology. Refreshing. 🙂
Life will be easier at some point. Learning to ride those waves and just hold on is helpful. The water always calms down at some point. If you’re really down, don’t be afraid to ask for professional help. Also, change is good! It helps us grow and evolve. So what if it doesn’t work out perfectly. Better to have tried and lost, then never to have tried at all. (I sound like an old person. I’m 57 and guess I’ve learned through similar experiences.)
Lisa, yes, yes it certainly will. Thank you for commenting!
This post is a blessing, thought provoking, and an echo of my life for the past 8 months. I was a pastor for 13 years, from right before I got married, through the birth of our 3 girls, and right before my youngest started kindergarten last year, I felt the Father say it was time to step away. I’m terrible with change, my biggest fear is failure, and it made little sense to stop working when my kids were now gone most of the day. I started following your blog not long before all of this, and started pairing furniture about the time God began speaking to me about change. It’s hard, it’s fits, and coughs, stutters and then thrilling and exhausting. I’m still in the middle of it – I call it our “beautiful mess”, but more often than not now, I see so much the why. None of it is quantitative – it’s all qualitative. It’s a faith journey that is turning into an adventure as we just keep having to trust our Father through the appliances that keep breaking (dryer this morning), and complete change of everything we know. Change is stressful and risky, but to avoid it is to begin the path of atrophy. I was on that path. Depending on the day, I’m happy, I’m exhausted, I’m excited to embrace new life, or I’m sad and depressed about the loss of relationships and the death of a dream, but as I settle into times with my Father, I’m beginning to find peace, find myself again, and see glimmers of hope. The transition is the hardest part – the middle- what the heck I can’t find my footing?! I think one of the biggest things we have to grapple is living life for Jesus and ourselves and not worrying what other people think. Follow what He’s saying and rest in His peace when He’s not speaking at all. Wow, way long ramble into the internet universe. Hope it helps someone else in the middle like me!
Thank you, Jill, for sharing such a powerful story. You’re right…transition is the hardest, but it all works out in the end. Many prayers to you, friend.
I’ve been thinking lately…wow she’s got a lot going on…how does she do it? Step back, enjoy your family, friends and yourself. You are awesome! And God is always there as I’m sure you know, to hold us up or let us lean and our comfort. Big hugs for you.
Ha! Well like I’ve said before…sometimes well and sometimes terribly. I’m enjoying doing things at a different pace right now and it’s a nice change. Thank you for your comment!
Ditto… I get it… I feel it…
Hoping… wishing… life could just be easy… peaceful… fun for a while!
… and it will in time. I have to believe it will.
Your blog… shop… your story is an inspiration and keeping it real is refreshing.
Glad to know I’m not alone.
Hang in there!
L 🙂
Thank you, Laurie. That’s very very sweet of you to say!
What a lovely way of sharing where you are at. It’s ok to need to change and do things differently. Go with God and figure it out along the way. He’s got this (and you). 🙂
Shaunna, you don’t know me although I shop your store in Troy on a fairly regular basis and always bring my guests in town there.
We all have so much in common: Our Humanity, our humanness, our strengths, flaws and the battles-/without the battles there would be no victories..Maybe my recent struggle & my candor about it can give you pause to B R E A T H E…In and out.
I have been learning to LIVE AGAIN…well sorta for the past 23 plus months after having the blessing of an extraordinary marriage for 54plus years. I said extra…ordinary. deginitely.
I know everyone has to handle death…it’s the normal life. But when you are wearing those shoes walking that path it’s so much more than normal life. no matter how you accept and no matter how perfectly, mercifully God laid it all out.
After sharing the news on my fb page that was it.
I am a blogger too..since 2009 I thought I would never write again. I couldn’t imagine whatever I would write about..then
Can you delete that for me I accidentally posted w/o being ready to post..so sorry and THANK YOU I DID NOT SEE an option to delete
Sometimes you think someone has it all and you cannot have it “all.” Take time, hire help, rest, blogging should be a way to heal not an extra burden. Just saying…
You’re exactly right, Donna. That’s an illusion and that is completely okay. Thanks for your comment today!
You and Marian are both amazing! And, you’ve both grown from when you began your blogs – you’re an inspiration! Thank you for keeping it real. I think you should share your life as it is today! Your followers will be here to read and cheer you on! I know I personally would love to see more of your shop life – since I’m way up in Pennsylvania and can’t visit, as well as other projects you are working on! Praying that you would feel God’s presence today!
Thank you so much, Doreen, for the support and encouraging words!
You are moving forward, that is the blessing. Last year or even before that, i realized i was dying. I didn’t know why, and no one could tell me. I worked hard on my daughters outdoor wedding and hand made lots of pretty things. Not all though. I could not. I had no energy and some days i lay in bed and cried thinking how i had ALWAYS been a person of action and service. I couldnot even take care of me let alone serve the LORD in my personal ministry. I ached for what had been and what could not be and prayed that my life as it was would be acceptable to HIM that redeemed me and had upheld me through the past many years of trials and challenge of taking care of my brain damaged husband and then my blind father. Service done out of love and for 27 years. Raising my three girls in the meanwhile basically on my own but knowing God was with me every step.Right after my daughters wedding I made sure things were in order so that if i did die my girls would know what had to be done and I was at peace going into a routine thyroid surgery. There was something about knowing the surgeon was also a strong man of faith and prayer helped me to trust him. The months of GREY were at an end. one way or another. When i woke up from surgery, my daughters and my older sister were standing around me all in states of tearfulness and relief. I joked a bit and said, Wow looking at you girls , you would think i had bought the farm. “Little sister, you very nearly did. You had a massive tumor wrapped aaround your spinal chord and it was choking the life out of you. It had cut off your coratid artery, your jugular vein,pushed your trachea and esophegus out line ,pushed itself into your right lung and tangled itself against your thyroid. Had it been any other ENT doing your surgery, he would have removed the thyroid ,closed you back up and told us you needed a specialist to handle all the intricate cutting around all of those tiny life giving essential. A year and 6 more surgeries have past and everyday is a day of struggle and growth but i see the sunshine and i breathe deeply . The grey is gone and i am able to see beyond today. Tomorrow i will gain even more strength as my recovery continues. I left it in the LORD’s loving hands and He is blessing me greatly. You are a blessing to many with your struggles, your attitude of doing and change. Keep the faith girl. Or share it. prayers for your continued move forward, and after all some of my best paint projects started on the mis tint aisle. GOD bless.
Nicolette, all I can say is I’m honored you shared your story. Thank you so, so much for being so willing and for your encouragement today. I’m a bit speechless and thankful to have read it. Also, love that last line. 😉
You are my favorite blogger!! I have always loved the mix of loving your work and style, while getting to know who you are! I have missed your words, but I knew it was a busy season, now I see it was more. This past year has been full of very difficult change for me as well. It has been awful and good. God has shown up. I pray you feel his presence and peace. You are so very loved!!
Hi
I just wanted to say I absolutely love your line “The grace that caught me so long ago is still there, even when I can’t feel it, even when I do not know which direction is up.” A friend and I just started a chronic pain blog and this post just resonates with some of our thoughts and feelings around it. Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you for speaking the truth for so many of us. Some days it is such a struggle and gray and foggy we can’t even see two feet in front of us and on other days we hold the world in our hands with vision and confidence. Its been a rough couple of years for me and like you, I have relied on my faith and Jesus to get me through and walk with me when my tears are so full I cant even see straight nor have the energy to think beyond the moment. God has proven himself faithful in so many ways in my life. I will pray for you and just remember how much you are loved by so many people! xoxo
What a beautiful writer you are, even thru pain. Love you!
tomorrow at 3:00 est I will be talking to a lawyer to start my divorce. 31 years of marriage gone,done.I mst move on.Addiction is awfl.I have tried my best.He left a path of distruction.Horrible awful path.Deep deep scars.I read your post and read it again.This pat year has really been hard.I lost my Mom to a brain tumor,marriage is over,job is not at all what I want to do.I have to claim bankruptcy ,car has 211000 miles o n it. Tomorrow is the start of a new life.One of opportunity,faith and new doors to open.A hard long road ahead and I will cling to God ,to open new doors.And to reconize when a door needs to be nailed shut.Thank you for your post.
Peace
I understand this sentiment completely. My blog is small and still so new, but going at a fast paced and turning your home and what you put into it out there for all to see is hard. It can make your home feel like a business instead of simply a home. I can only imagine how crazy your time is. I think people will enjoy seeing things you create. If that is in clients homes or in your store does not matter. Having to make your blog be about your life is great and what all should be about. Our life changes, we go through new or different phases, things change. Letting your inspiration and blog change too is expected. I am excited to see how things change around here and am happily along for the ride!
I appreciate REAL LIFE on a blog. It’s great to see the perfect, inspiring pictures, but as readers it can sometimes make us feel inadequate. “Why does her house look so good?” “Their marriage is the best!” “Why isn’t my business doing as well?” It’s the raw, truthful posts that connect you to your readers. That’s not to say that we want Debbie Downer everyday, but life is about navigating the ups and downs. I appreciate your humor, your enthusiasm, your style, and your realness. Keep being you.
“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”
― Leonard Cohen
I am thankful for you…and I have lots of lit up space! Big hugs.
Thank you for this post and all of the inspirational quotes you listed. I needed to read something like this today. Wishing you peace and contentment as you continue on your journey.
Hi there Shaunna I am new to all this and sorry to read about your difficulties.Keep going you doing fine . Please forgive me but i need to know if you got my paint order. Is this still working….waiting so patiently… watched your blog for 1st time and ordered. Now i haven’t heard anything yet. Is this normal thank you for replying .