Let me just confess something.

I’ve run out of adrenaline.

I looked around the shop today, after a week away, and I had the thought.

The thought that most people renovating an old shop or home probably all have.  Granted, they might not have it after 3 weeks of tearing down, pulling out, sweeping, dusting, and painting (only to have it look like we just started).  But I bet they all have it.

Am I crazy?  It would have been so much easier to choose a move-in ready shop.

Coming home to a mile-long to do list is a little different than just coming home.  We had some surprises (as you always do in any big project)–the baseboards were rotten, so we can’t use those.  The paint left behind the air ducts now exposed is lead-based and flaking.  We can’t get rid of it, so we just have to prime over all the flakes and paint it up.  There is dust and dirt covering everything.  There’s a LOT of painting to do.  The back where we’ll ship from is cluttered and covered in (more) dust.  We are stacking up a lot of backorders and I’m wondering how we’ll fill the shop by Nov 1 or Nov 15 or whenever we open.

But then I woke up and my husband was gone–gone to my shop, cleaning up the huge mess so we can keep moving forward.  I glanced at a picture of that brick wall, and remembered how my children giggle everytime we say “mommy’s shop.”  It will be another part of my family, a place for us to make memories, and that brick wall will serve as a backdrop to more than furniture makeover shoots.

It’s taking serious work, but when it’s done, this place will be amazing.

I’ve run out of adrenaline.

But that’s okay, because I’ve traded it in for something else.

Determination.