Alright, I think this must get worse before it gets better….again, not the dares, but the being totally positive part.  What a wake up call!  I feel myself trying to be positive with others, but I must just let Matt get all the negative.  Another thing I’m realizing, I am passionate about proving my points.  Why?  I don’t really even think about wanting to be right, I just want it to be heard.  But you know what?  What a waste of time sometimes!  Plus, it’s heck to break that habit!

Day 3- Love is not Selfish

“Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high expectations for our mate?  The answer is a painful pill to swallow.  We are all selfish…..The bottom line is that you either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself.”

DARE: WHATEVER YOU PUT YOUR TIME, ENERGY, AND MONEY INTO WILL BECOME MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU.  IT’S HARD TO CARE FOR SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT INVESTING IN.  ALONG WITH RESTRAINING FROM NEGATIVE COMMENTS, BUY YOUR SPOUSE SOMETHING THAT SAYS, “I WAS THINKING OF YOU TODAY.”

Again, I skipped a day because of the very pitiful little one, but yesterday was my day 3.  I was somewhere with actual stores, so I really thought about what would be small, but very thoughtful gift.  I had lunch at Panera Bread and remembered that while I was in the hospital having Ava, Matt would go every morning and get breakfast from there….he LOVES their cinammon bagels!  Perfect.  Small but very thoughtful.  I gave it to him last night; I even got him the expensive cream cheese that goes with it.  I have to say, his reaction disappointed me a bit.  I wanted him to get really excited and tell me how thoughtful it was, yada yada…but what’s my motivation??

Is it to be rewarded for good behavior or to do something that is pleasing for him?  Oh, how I hate being convicted on my behavior.  Even now as I type this I’m realizing something….the dares are not going to be my hardest part.  The thoughtful gifts, the small ways to say “I love you”……those are the things we’re good at.  I remember there was a time in my life that I truly guarded every word that came out of my mouth, knowing it would probably glorify God or turn attention elsewhere.  I do this still, but much more loosely.  Maybe it’s time I’m that guarded, even with Matt.  Now let me say this:  I do not believe in holding everything in (obviously), because I feel like I have to be honest with Matt above all others.  But…..maybe I should learn to hold the negativity back a little bit!

Okay, so on to today…..

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